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Scraps Log: Where Gragose dies, again, and everyone has a goatee

Ohh, where was I? In all the commotion I forgot to write down what was happening. Let me see…

The famed lich appeared, threatened us a little, and summoned some skeletons to kick our ass. The lich itself was some sort of image, not really there, so he poofed away once the skeletons lurched into action. We made quick work of them and moved on. The lich didn’t appear again.

We came to a door that was protected by some sort of super-powerful electricity spell, and I opened it by putting the electric rune up to its surface. The rest of the party told me I started talking and walking really fast for a few minutes after I did this, so it seems like the electric rune makes people faster, like the water rune heals people. Nifty.

We then came across another door, heard movement nearby, so we opened the door quickly and Billy cast some sort of “kill everything” spell into the room. We realized quickly that there was actually nothing hostile in the room, and we’d actually just smashed Aris’s old bedroom. Oops. Rakust mended the bed back together so at least we’d have something to sleep on. He made like he was doing it just sos we’d have a place to sleep, but I think deep down inside that burnt shell he felt bad for Aris and wanted to try to make her feel better.

There was a box in the room with a ring in it that was magic, according to Billy. Aris picked it up and didn’t realize until she’d put it on that she didn’t actually recognize the ring. It turned out it was cursed, and made her really easy to hit in combat. Rakust was able to get it off of her before we ran into anything really bad. I forget what we did with the ring. Hopefully whoever’s carrying it will remember its cursed before they try to put it back on again.

We came upon a dining room that had a group of dead bodies – just skeletons left – posed like they were eating dinner. Rakust or Billy (or maybe both of them) were able to tell that these people had been flash-frozen to death while they were eating.

The movement we heard before we trashed Aris’s room was heard again, and we realized it was coming from the kitchen. We tied a rope to the door so we could open it from afar, and both Rakust and Billy torched the room with flame spells. Two giant spiders came running out, on fire, and we quickly smooshed them.

We found a secret passage in the fireplace of the dining room. It smelled like burnt bodies (an odor Rakust found pleasing, yuck), so we decided to leave it alone for now and explore the rest of the castle. We came upon a sleeping ettin, and I slashed its throat (apparently you only need to cut one throat to kill it). The room it was in only had part of a wall – the rest went off into a huge cavern.

We also found what used to be a sorcerer’s den. Billy was drooling over all of the books, and picked up a robe and a wand that had been floating over a dais.

The room after that had umber hulks. We did a good job smashing them, but Billy seemed to be having trouble. He went to cast some sort of spell, and instead just peed on the floor. (Well, he said he didn’t pee, he apparently casted Create Water, but who’s really keeping track?) The spell he tried to cast after that, though, completely decimated both the umber hulks AND the hallway. Every other room on that hall had been smashed to rubble – we couldn’t make it any further down that hall. It was leagues beyond what Billy could normally do.

There was one more door that we could reach, but it was protected by some sort of serious magic. I couldn’t see a way to disarm it. Thinking it might be another door that was opened by an orb, I tried first the electricity orb, then the water orb. The door shot both orbs across the room and drained them. It also seemed to disenchant my cloak. The thing was just an ordinary brown now, and I was perfectly visible while wearing it. Billy told me it didn’t radiate magic anymore. Crap.

Having seen everything on that floor that we were going to see, we went back to the secret passage in the fireplace. It took us far down under the earth into a massive and warm pit with a pile of bones at the center. There were necromancers down there, trying to cast some sort of spell. From a walkway ringing the pit, Billy tried to cast a spell at them to disrupt their casting, but ended up accidentally transporting Aris down to the center. It seemed since we visited the sorcerer’s den nothing he cast went right.

We made our way down to Aris and fought the necromancers. Billy accidentally turned one of them invisible. We didn’t manage to disrupt them enough to finish their spell, and something huge started animating from the bone pile. Luckily, one of Billy’s random spells smashed the bone golem dead in its tracks before it had a chance to even do anything. One of the necromancers peed himself seeing what Billy could do, then fainted when Rakust took off his mask and went “boo!” At that point, the rest of the necromancers were dead except the invisible one, which had apparently gone. We couldn’t sense him anywhere.

The remaining living necromancer refused to tell us anything except that he was scared of what was down the tunnel. We picked him up and took him down the tunnel anyway. It was very long, and took several hours for us to get to the end of it. It was also trapped in places. We got through the traps okay, but the necromancer managed to suicide himself on one of them when he realized we weren’t letting him go.

As we got closer to the end of the tunnel it got warmer, and we started hearing laughing. We realized it sounded just like Gragose (that traitorous bastard). Rakust’s bag of holding started acting funny. It rose into the air as if something inside were metal and there was a strong lodestone nearby. We realized it was Gragose’s hugely evil sword. We brought it back up the hallway to a point where it wasn’t pulling anymore, then Rakust stone-shaped a hole in the wall, tossed the sword in (it was even bigger than the first time we saw it) and closed up the hole.

We went back without the sword, and saw that Gragose was standing in the middle of a volcano on a network of ledges that were up above lava. He had taken the form of some pansy-assed 16-foot tall elf, and had two huge morning stars. We quickly got into a battle. Billy’s random spells managed to double Gragose in size. We had decided on a strategic retreat (oh, who am I kidding, we were running like frightened rabbits) when Billy cast one more spell back at Gragose, which turned out to be a spear of ice that went all the way through his shoulder. He looked hurt, but he looked like he was regenerating quickly. We realized if we were going to kill him that this was our only chance, so we charged back. Aris made a desparate throw with her lance, which managed to hit right where Billy’s ice spear had hit, and Gragose disintegrated.

We threw his huge evil maces into the lava, and realized there was something in there. Aris identified it as a lava dragon, very evil and chaotic. We decided not to spend any more time there and left. On our way out, we saw that somebody had blasted a hole in the wall where we had buried Gragose’s sword, and the sword was gone.

We came back to the bone pit and found a secret passage in the wall, where the formerly invisible necromancer was casting a spell on Gragose’s sword, trying to summon him back. We killed the necromancer, and Rakust managed to get the Bag of Devouring over the sword before the spell could be finished. Apparently the bag was so disruptive that it tore a hole in reality. We ran from the room before the explosion happened, and when we came back we saw there was a huge hole of nothingness, across from which we could see a little room, far in the distance. It was so far that it was difficult to see.

We headed back up towards the surface, but things were odd. There were no bones in the bone pit, no bodies or undead or people anywhere. Even we looked funny. Billy was green, for example. We made it all the way back up to the surface where everything was similarly deserted. I decided to break into the mayor’s house and steal some gold, but his gold was all coal. So was all of our gold, for that matter. It had turned to coal. I grabbed a bag of the coal (just coins, nothing identifiable) and brought it to the house of some poor people and put it under their pillow. Maybe they won’t have to worry about finding food to eat for a while.

We went back down into the undercity, down into the fireplace pit, and to the room where the explosion happened. We spent a little more time looking across the abyss, and saw that there were actually people in that other tiny room. Upon closer inspection, they looked like us. We leaped across the gap, sailing across like birds, passing our “reflections”, and everything was right on the other side. Gold was gold, there were bones in the pit, and there were people up on the surface when we got there.

Turns out when we moved things on the surface in bizzaro world they also moved in the real world, so the mayor’s wife saw her gold come floating out of the cabinet and away into the city. We heard them crying about being robbed, and also heard rumors about some peasant family finding a ton of gold in their house. I hope they’re smart enough to keep their mouths shut about it so nobody puts two and two together and accuses them of theft.

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